Bio 102

Study: Mutant genes linked to Parkinson's in some


This... I...


"In some?" There are people out there suffering from a genetic illness that isn't caused by genes? That's really big. That's huge. I can't even make a joke it's so fucking stupid.

If druggies ruled the world?

Study: Sharing prescriptions can bring harm, not healing


I wonder who conducted this study. "Fuck, guys. It turns out abusing prescriptions drugs is actually, like, bad for us. Oh, well."

Oh, is THAT why there's this big hubbub about them?

Steroids harmful, study confirms


....-_______-;

...really...

Study: Single cigarette can cause addiction in some people

There's nothing addictive in them or anything, so this is actually really surprising. My issue with it? Syntax. Obviously.

Things that no one would ever have thought.

Mutual resentment in marriage can be deadly for couples

That's just wrong. I mean, why would couples that hate each other ever be more likely to break up? It's completely counter-intuitive.

Deadly diseases don't, though.

Study: Negativity, annoyance in marriage gets worse over time

...no kidding?

After many years of programs, the tantrums stop... so obviously the programs work.

Parenting lessons do not stop toddler tantrums, study finds

This just in: despite our best efforts, children continue to be children.

No. I like it when my insides are chewed up.

Food poisoning can cause long-term problems, scientists say

I wonder if 'death' qualifies as a long-term problem or not. Hm. Someone should research that.

Sugar Pills

Raising the price of wine makes it taste better, research finds

No, you dumbasses, it makes people trick themselves into thinking it will taste better. It's the placebo effect.

10.20.2008

Adolescents need support during family breakups, report finds

You know, just in case anyone doubted we live in a society where parents are just as immature as there children.

No kidding, headline. No kidding.

1.7.2008

A lovely Yahoo! News study from early January:

Study: Anxiety may be bad for your heart

It may be bad for your heart. I suppose the implication here is that there are situations in which extreme stress on your heart is a good thing.

There's probably a lot of jokes to be made, but when I first noted the headline I didn't come up with one and don't have one now.