Study: Mutant genes linked to Parkinson's in some
This... I...
"In some?" There are people out there suffering from a genetic illness that isn't caused by genes? That's really big. That's huge. I can't even make a joke it's so fucking stupid.
11.15.2009
If druggies ruled the world?
Study: Sharing prescriptions can bring harm, not healing
I wonder who conducted this study. "Fuck, guys. It turns out abusing prescriptions drugs is actually, like, bad for us. Oh, well."
I wonder who conducted this study. "Fuck, guys. It turns out abusing prescriptions drugs is actually, like, bad for us. Oh, well."
In case you're sleeping too well...
Bio 101
Main headline, 2/28/08, on Yahoo:
Hungry after a workout?
If you find yourself eating more after an intensive exercise routine, you're not alone. » Reasons for the splurgeBecause as we all know,there is no logical reason that after exhausting our body it would want to refuel. None.
...really...
Study: Single cigarette can cause addiction in some people
There's nothing addictive in them or anything, so this is actually really surprising. My issue with it? Syntax. Obviously.
There's nothing addictive in them or anything, so this is actually really surprising. My issue with it? Syntax. Obviously.
Things that no one would ever have thought.
Mutual resentment in marriage can be deadly for couples
That's just wrong. I mean, why would couples that hate each other ever be more likely to break up? It's completely counter-intuitive.
That's just wrong. I mean, why would couples that hate each other ever be more likely to break up? It's completely counter-intuitive.
After many years of programs, the tantrums stop... so obviously the programs work.
Parenting lessons do not stop toddler tantrums, study finds
This just in: despite our best efforts, children continue to be children.
This just in: despite our best efforts, children continue to be children.
No. I like it when my insides are chewed up.
Food poisoning can cause long-term problems, scientists say
I wonder if 'death' qualifies as a long-term problem or not. Hm. Someone should research that.
I wonder if 'death' qualifies as a long-term problem or not. Hm. Someone should research that.
Sugar Pills
Raising the price of wine makes it taste better, research finds
No, you dumbasses, it makes people trick themselves into thinking it will taste better. It's the placebo effect.
No, you dumbasses, it makes people trick themselves into thinking it will taste better. It's the placebo effect.
3.04.2008
3.01.2008
10.20.2008
Adolescents need support during family breakups, report finds
You know, just in case anyone doubted we live in a society where parents are just as immature as there children.
No kidding, headline. No kidding.
You know, just in case anyone doubted we live in a society where parents are just as immature as there children.
No kidding, headline. No kidding.
Fans happy when team wins, sad when they lose
Penguins thrilled to land Hossa, then sorry to lose him to knee injury in debut
Wow. What insightful and hard-hitting journalism. No kidding. Jeebus. This is a headline.
Wow. What insightful and hard-hitting journalism. No kidding. Jeebus. This is a headline.
2.26.2008
The lovely state of our media
can be summed up with the following:
Obama's leading man
Barack Obama says he would want Will Smith to play him in a movie.
This is a main headline on Yahoo!. This. Because there is nothing more important in electing a president than which actor would play them in a theoretical biopic. Ohmigod we are all doomed.
2.25.2008
1.7.2008
A lovely Yahoo! News study from early January:
Study: Anxiety may be bad for your heart
It may be bad for your heart. I suppose the implication here is that there are situations in which extreme stress on your heart is a good thing.
There's probably a lot of jokes to be made, but when I first noted the headline I didn't come up with one and don't have one now.
Study: Anxiety may be bad for your heart
It may be bad for your heart. I suppose the implication here is that there are situations in which extreme stress on your heart is a good thing.
There's probably a lot of jokes to be made, but when I first noted the headline I didn't come up with one and don't have one now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)